Staring Into a Washing Machine

We all have our moments and mine came staring into a washing machine.

Things had started frantically that day. The end of the month also happened to fall on the close of a work-week, so there were weekly reports and monthly reports due. On top of this, I received a phone call that a delivery man was across town trying to unload two pallets of items I didn’t know I was receiving into an already full storage unit. And, it just so happened that my client representatives were in town, too. I couldn’t slow down enough to be stressed.

I rushed to the storage unit where I had to reorganize items to make room for the two pallets that were placed in a vacant one across the lane two spots down. Of course the driveway has to be on a hill, so the runaway cart was no help; however, my kind neighbor did come out and take a picture of the cart by her front door, as if it nearly slamming into her facility was my plot all along. In my heels, I began to stack box after box after box, higher than my head, and sure enough, one came toppling down, corner first, across my mouth. “Wonderful,” I thought. With the end in sight, I had come down to two last boxes, zip-tied with a yellow band. As I reached for one to drag into the unit, instead of the plastic I gripped metal and the metal gripped back, slicing two deep wounds across two of my fingers. “Really!” I exclaimed. “Anything else today?!” Surely enough, yes. I looked to find the wind hand blown my empty boxes across the parking lot, and, after retrieving them and struggling to load them one-handed onto the cart, using my other hand to keep it stable, I arrived to the dumpster only to find it locked. “Great.”

I managed through the rest of day working into the evening, entertained the clients, took a midnight nap, and started a new day. I woke up to find a dirty house and dirtier car, dirty clothes, dirty dishes, dirty me. In all of my running lately, some things had been neglected. I started with the car thinking people see that more than the inside of my house. I washed inside and out. I remembered I needed a headlight (the cop had told me so the week before), so I picked that up and came home to install. One screw - easy. Other screw - stuck. Me - done. That was my breaking point. I cried standing over that screw asking why it wouldn’t just come out. “Help me out here! I want to rest!” It was already eight in the evening and my plan was headlight, laundry, dishes, take out the dog and feed my animals, shower, and finally sit down to dinner and it wasn’t going accordingly. After a few bangs on the screw with pliers, I took a break and decided to put in laundry. I came two steps in the door and fell to my knees. “Lord, I need you. I’m running crazy here. I’m tired of it all coming down on me. I’m going it alone here and there’s no one to help. I fixed the running toilet. I moved a whole storage unit. I did all of my reports. I’ve paid all of the bills. I cleaned the car. There's still laundry and dishes piled up. I haven't eaten. I’m mad I can’t get the headlight. I’m tired. Where’s my help?”

Being lifted up, I got the laundry bag and walked to the washing machine. I turned on the water. Poured soap. Filled with clothes. And watched. Things started to slow as I was mesmerized by its simplicity. My tears were wiped away as I turned from stressed to thankful. Peering down at that washing machine, I realized I was stressing because I wasn't recognizing the blessing. I have laundry to wash while some people don’t have any clothes to keep warm. I had a filthy car with one headlight, but I don’t have to walk. I have dishes in the sink, but they are dirty because I had food to eat and water to drink. I had a full workday, but I have a job to pay the bills when so many can’t find work. Though I thought I had been doing it all alone, I was reminded I have a Lord who answers. He is my help. He cleanses me when I reach out to Him. After all, my material items weren't the only things I had been neglecting; I had neglected in my busy-ness to be thankful to Him that gives them. I had let the stress of the world overshadow the peace He provides and let the unimportant outweigh the important. As the water in the basin filled up over the clothes, I let His spirit fill up in me and the dirt of the past days washed away. Watching the clothes churn in the bubbles, I realized that I, just like them, can get dirtied by the stress of life, but God is always there to wash and refresh me if I take the time to let Him.

We all have our moments and mine came staring into a washing machine.

God, Jesus, and...

The more we see in the world, the less we want to be in it, yet the more we see we need to be.  

I started a new position a month ago and have since been whirling around the business world on a three-day trip for training, conference calls, and meetings with the client and accounts.  Even in this short period of time, it is quite apparent to me how many in this world define themselves by their jobs.  I watch and listen as they stress about deadlines and goals, beating the competitor, and impressing senior managers.  I observe them puff up when they themselves feel a sense of superiority.  I see the non-stop, always on-call lifestyles of people trying to make a name and a buck for themselves, and I am saddened.  And as I realize just how badly people out there are completely missing the meaning of this life, the light on their darkness is shined brighter.  No more denying.

The big game is next weekend, so I have been told more than once by more than one person that the “big dogs” are going to be in town.    I’m not really sure who the big dogs are actually and what I am supposed to do differently while they are here.  Since I always put forth my best, I don’t see the need to have a warning that “Well, someone’s going to be watching next week, so, you should do your job now.”  Weird, as to me I always work for an audience of One, but this isn’t even the depressing part.  Being advised yet again of this apparently epic event, I was given a further description of this traveling trio: God, Jesus, and…(wait for it)…Moses.  OK. OK.  Before I let it sink in how tragic this really was, I admit, I laughed at first hearing.  I mean, really, if you’re going to quote the Trinity, at least get it right!  But then I looked at that man in his eyes and it hit me.  He was serious.  To him, these men are God.  And if things aren’t just right– this could be the end of his world.  No more laughing. 

In case I still didn’t see the light, I came home to dial-in to a conference call.  We went through the agenda line by line, receiving our updates and weekly instructions.  I listened as I always do, contributed here and there as necessary.  And then we got to it on the topic of budgets.  Here it came again, this time, in the form of an excel spreadsheet that tracks expenses.  Enter this in this cell, it creates a running tab, it populates here...  What’s that?  A squirrel in the tree outside?  “Bible.”  Huh?  Bringing my attention back to the call, she repeated.  “Treat this as your Bible.”  An excel spreadsheet.  My Bible?  No.  I’ll stick with what I have.  No more daydreaming.

As I ended my day at home, I thought of how I just wanted to shut myself in my house, away from the chaos, unrest, greed, and self-importance illuminated in the world.  As I thought further, my heart broke for them as I realized that in their day-to-day lives they continually feel inferior with something to prove, someone to always impress.  Even when they do have confidence, it is short-lived because it’s placed in temporary things in a fallen world and some bigger dog always comes along with more power, more money, and more fame.  There is no peace for them.  In that moment, I knew that though I didn’t want to be in their world any longer, I needed to be.  They were ignorant to the Truth, and if I closed myself in, who would show them?  The light that had shone upon their darkness was coming out through me!  They need to know what God gives me everyday – pure confidence in who I am because of Who He is.  No need to measure up or impress another man.  One Lord to serve and a multitude of blessings that come forth that money and titles can’t buy—Peace, joy, rest, hope, purpose and on and on to eternity.  It's dark out there and they need to see.  

The more we see in the world, the less we want to be in it, yet the more we see we need to be.  

Go let your light shine!

Clarity

I am fascinated by the stars, especially this time of year.  The seasons are beginning to change and a crisp, coolness is in the breeze.  The air is welcomed by my lungs.  The night skies are cloudless and the moon shines bright.  If spring is to new beginnings then fall is to reflection.  And, gazing up to that sky, I am doing just that.

Earlier this year, after being unable to answer the question in the New Year’s message “What did you do with 2010,” I determined to climb out of the pity-hole I had dug for myself.   I wasn’t going to let life pass me by.  Shortly after, I found myself at a decision point in a series of circumstances I had labeled “From God” merely because they were what I wanted to do and I had justified it was all for a good purpose.  Yet, when it came to making the decision to move forward, I heard a distinct “No.”  Instead of following that instruction, I pushed the mute button and talked over it, rationalizing how it was good for me to do and also good for God, claiming that obviously all of the events leading to it weren’t just strange coincidences.  I enjoyed what I would be saying yes to do, I would be serving, and I would be getting involved in a group with others--the reasons I told myself yes were as good as they were limitless.

As I went forward with my decision, I faced tough consequences.  I found myself in situations I hadn’t encountered in years.  When put to the test repeatedly, repeatedly I failed.  When I had the chance to show strength, my witness was weak.  I desperately wanted the friends and family feeling I had been coveting, but even while in their presence, still I felt like an outsider.  Though I tried so badly outwardly to fit in, I was still inwardly different.  Labeled as quiet, I would watch and listen, seeing what I thought I needed to be but knowing that it didn’t match who I was or what God had brought me up to be.  I shed tears.  I had my heart crushed…But, God.

Back to present, staring in this starry expanse, I see His glory.  I see the face in the moon, understanding and not critical, and I hear the words “All this I tried to keep from you.”  And letting the night breeze blow across my face, I have clarity.  How one simple “Yes” took my life down a series of steps I wasn’t supposed to have taken--pain that could have been avoided, character that could have remained in-tact.  Where I had seen only one small choice, a Yes or No to one simple thing, He had seen the downward spiral that would eventually unwind.  Yet, right here standing in His majesty, I smile, realizing He also knew I would come now to this very moment, closer to Him than ever before.   

True to His Word, He works all things out for the good of those whom believe in Him.  Although disobedient, He took that Yes that should have been a No and my subsequent repentance and has put me back on His path.  Through this experience, I was able to get to know more of those whom I was serving and have since filled other needed roles.  He has placed me in positions where I can be true to myself and not compromising.  Faces now have names.  I am greeted with hugs.  I now have younger brothers and sisters, mothers, fathers, and friends.  I laugh with them.  I talk serious with them.  I teach.  I learn.  I grow.  And with God, I go on.  I’m back to where I started six months ago, but further down the road, equipped with yet another testament to His unlimited supply of grace and mercy which He continues to pour out on a wretch like me.  I once was blind, but now I see.

Make 'Em Want It

An astute business leader commented to me not long ago that it was his mission to find what each of his laborers had studied and to put this knowledge to good use in the workplace.  The math major would assist with bookkeeping, naturally, an English major would assist with editing publications, and I, as a marketing major, would assist with creating ideas to publicize and popularize our ventures.  

Though he admitted he didn’t study marketing and didn’t know its fundamentals, to his credit, he nailed the basic principle when he said “Find a way to make this thing exciting to people.  Make 'em want it!”  Isn’t that it?  Isn’t that what marketers do – take what they have and make it exciting?  Don’t they make the product or service look like something that someone can’t live one more day without?  It’s the buzz, the excitement, the passion.  “I want that!  I need to have that!”  It’s the energy, the flair, the authenticity.  We can tell when we’re being sold, when the message isn’t genuine. Surely, no one will ever buy a product with a tagline “Try this and you’ll definitely be disappointed.”  Doubtfully would one buy from someone whose expression is more of woe than the “Whoa!” they proclaim.

Yet, sometimes, is this not how the world may see some Christians today?  We talk of this salvation we have, this hope in us, our church, our songs, and on and on.  But what do they see along with that?  Is there a genuine passion behind the message or just some sales pitch?  Do we sing “How great is our God,” yet walk around deflated and defeated?  Do our expressions speak woe is me at the same time our mouths say “Jesus loves me?”  How are we marketing Christ to others?  Do we endure situations in a manner that people take notice?   Do they see our joy and our peace even in the midst of chaos and go “I want that?”  This is the one thing they can’t live one more day without and today might be the only day.  Fortunately, supplies aren’t limited and the phone lines are never busy.  

Would you buy what you’ve been selling these days?

mp3 players

Forgive me, as I’m not very technologically inclined.  I was recently given what appears to be a flash drive/memory stick and also advised that it holds a large amount of mp3 files and some of us “lucky” ones would have some music already loaded onto ours in addition to the documents we needed to execute our work tasks.  After arriving home, I went to retrieve a few of the documents and found that indeed some songs were already on my device.  “It’s nice to get something for free,” I thought.  But, as I looked at the titles and knew the songs’ lyrics and subject matter, I realized, even though free, this wasn’t my type of music.

While I could just leave the files on the device and not listen to them, this device is still mine.  It’s most likely that no one else will ever see that these files exist; however, I do not want them representing me.  Should someone come across them, they will see a contradiction between who I say I am and what my actions say.  They will not know I didn’t download these files and don’t listen to them.  They will see them and form an inaccurate opinion of me.  Additionally, if I erase these files, I will have extra space to add more of the good songs I do enjoy.

It is the same way with us as Christians in today’s world.  We are Christ’s mp3 players.   While the world freely offers us its garbage, we don't need to take it.  We belong to the Lord and are representing Him in what we say and do everyday.  People are always listening and always watching.  Those who don't know Him look to us to form their opinions of Him.  As Christians, when our words and actions don’t match the Word, we sing an inaccurate tune about God.  Therefore, the Lord works in us to erase the crude, rude, and dirty things about us.  Even those things that we think will remain hidden He will uncover to make us more like Him so that nothing corrupts His image.  And, as He deletes the junk, He will replace it with treasure.  

What song are your words and actions singing today?

Sign on the Line

Sign on the line and it is official – that shiny new car is yours.  You have never driven home so cautiously before.  For at least the first month, you park in the back of the lot at the store to avoid the chance of any door dings.  Before getting in each time, you spot-check all areas for any scratches and spit-shine even the tiniest specks of dirt.  You are sure to wipe any and all dust off of your feet before getting in.  But why?

Anything we pay a high price for, we value.  We want to take care of that item and keep it like new, the best it can be.  We avoid places where its beauty may be compromised, instead, placing it where it has better chances of maintaining its integrity.  With great concern, we keep it in close sight to make sure nothing bad happens to it.  We can’t keep ourselves from looking at it or thinking about it.

So, if we treat material items in this way, why do we not expect Jesus to be the same with our lives?  Why do we fight obedience to Him and insist on doing things our way?  Instead, we should realize that since He paid such a high cost for us, He values us enough to want to keep us shiny and new, too.  His plans for us keep us from being compromised by the dangers and consequences of sin.  Though, inevitably, our roadmap will take us down a few dirt roads, the inside of us will remain clean if we submit ourselves to the Lord’s plans. 

When we remember the high cost paid for us, we will understand that the Lord wants nothing less than the best for our lives.  We will see His concern is great for us and that He never stops thinking about us.  His name is signed on the line where He bought us in the eyes of the Father with His life.  Have you been living with His name on your title? 

Recalculating

You see the green path on the screen.  Continue straight for five miles.  You know the voice, “In one mile, take exit on left.”  Then it happens.  You get distracted.  A child cries from the backseat.  A phone call.  A billboard.  Loss of satellite connection.  And then you hear it, that dreaded word.  “Recalculating.”

Occasionally, like the child in the back seat, our daily life distracts us from going where we should.  Other times, our lives are interrupted unexpectedly like the incoming phone call.  Or, at times, we are distracted by temptations when the billboard catches our eye.  Sometimes, like the loss of satellite, our cause of distraction is due to a lack of connection to the Direction Giver.  But, there is always that word to return us to our course.  “Recalculating.”

In the moment, it is east to get frustrated.  “Great!” we exclaim, realizing we have missed our exit.  “Now what can be done?”  We get upset with ourselves for being distracted enough to miss the turn.  We blame ourselves, because whatever the reason, we should have stayed on course, but we didn’t.  We now feel guilt because of lost time and wonder if we have missed the opportunity to get to our destination.

For God’s children, all things work out for good for those who believe.  No exit we miss for any reason will keep us from the destination He has for us if we get back on His track.  Sometimes we have to make a U-Turn and go back before continuing on.  Other times, we can take the next exit and return to the path.  If we keep listening to that voice, we will get to hear “Arriving at destination ahead.”  One warning: we must make sure we have programmed in the right address, for once we have arrived, there will be no more chances for “recalculating.”  Set your GPS wisely.

We Need Rain

“We need rain.” 

Living in Florida, I have heard this phrase often lately.  We look around and see the consequences of the drought - yellowing lawns and patches of dirt and sand where grass used to abound.  How ironic as humans, recognizing that for nature’s beauty to blossom, we proclaim “We need rain,” yet in our lives, we curse when the dark clouds roll in.

During the storms of life, it is our nature to focus on the heavy downpours and the darkness, the whipping winds and the booms of thunder.  In darkness, the greening of the grass cannot be seen.  But what if we shifted our focus to see the Sonlight in the midst of the storms?  What if we challenged ourselves to see that without the rain, we would suffer a drought in our walks with the Lord?  Imagine if we could change our minds to see ourselves as dry and famished like the blades of grass, starving for the nutrition only the rain can provide us to develop our beauty.  Would we weather storms differently then?

Like the blades of grass, instead of shrinking in the rain or seeking cover, we need to open ourselves up to embrace it and soak it in.  We should see the rain as our sustenance – a necessity for us to be what we were created to be.  Without the rain, we would not grow. The rain is our opportunity to absorb His love and concern for us, be strengthened and encouraged, and blossom. It develops our character, our beauty, and our dependence upon the Lord for life. 

“We need rain.”

A Delightful Jog in the Woods

I enjoy walking on trails through the woods and often substitute this for the normal gym routine.  Though I’ve never been much of a runner - ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you I don’t run unless chased – I have recently found myself beginning to jog intermittently.  Until a recent run in the woods, I always thought I was just getting an exercise physically. I didn’t know that I was going to receive something much more.

I started off walking, reflecting on the day.  Then I felt the urge to pick up the pace and began a light jog.  I recalled in my thoughts my previous experiences with running, always the last place finisher in school when we had track days to “run” a timed mile, perfectly fine checking in with a time of 15:14 as all of my peers sat in the cool grass waiting on me.  Maybe it was because they were watching and I didn’t want to huff and puff and get red-faced when it seemed so easy to them.  Maybe it was the pressure on my heart that got to be too much after the first minute that walking seemed to be the easier choice.  Maybe it was the heaviness as I focused on each individual step forward.  Whatever it was, I never continued to press through and always took the more comfortable route.

As my breathing picked up and my heart began to race, I was tempted to go back to walking.  But, I felt this encouragement within me to focus on a large tree in the distance just before the trail bent off to the left.  By focusing on the tree, I couldn’t focus on myself – the heavy feeling around my heart, my rapid breathing – I just saw the tree getting closer.  While I knew the trail didn’t stop at the tree and there was more in the future I couldn’t see, all I needed to do to keep going was focus on the tree - not the present trial and not what lied ahead of it.

In that moment, I realized, amidst my physical exercise, I was receiving a spiritual workout as well.  In life, we can take the easy route and walk through.  We can look at our peers and wonder why things happen for them that don’t happen for us.  We could be discouraged along the way and let the pressures of life keep us from our full potential.  We could be focused solely on ourselves and our misery and each painstaking step.  Or, we can focus on the Tree.  We could realize that our paths aren’t meant to be the same as those of our peers, but as long we stay on course with the Tree, we’re right where we need to be.  Instead of discouragement, the Tree helps us conquer things we never thought possible, challenging us to be better, to keep going, to never give up.  Focus on ourselves – the present is filled with strife, worry about the future.  Focus on the Tree – the present is actually enjoyable and the future will come naturally. 

Staying focused on the Tree is the key to enjoying everyday life.  It’s impossible to compare ourselves to others, complain how bad life hurts at times, and say it is too hard to go on and enjoy life at the same time.  But, if we stay focused on the Tree, life can be a delightful jog in the woods.  Never a runner before, I am now focused and ready to run the race He has set before me.  Care to join me?  It’s never too late to start!

The Replacements

One of my favorite movies is The Replacements.  As a sports fanatic, anytime that it is on television I find myself watching it.  The story is about a professional football team whose players go on strike and the coach is left finding a “replacement” team to field for the remainder of the season going into the playoffs.  They recruit prisoners, a mute man, a soccer player, a clumsy wide-receiver, and a washed-up has-been known for choking on the big plays as quarterback.  Needless to say, the odds seem stacked against them.

We watch the team practice and wonder how they will score points, let alone win a game.  But, the coach doesn’t give up on his replacements, and we see a team come together and begin to believe in themselves.  Through both comedy and trials, the replacements put points on the board and win enough games to take the team to the playoffs.  Two key lines in the movie come from the head coach.  The first, when asked what his team will need to win, “It takes heart.”  The second, when his team is down with one last play to call, he asks who wants the ball, and when the quarterback nods, he says, “Winners always do.” 

Just like this team of so-called failures, we have a Coach that doesn’t give up on us.  We are His replacements here on earth.  No matter what prison we come from or how many times we have failed in the past, whatever we are known for, He still has plays in mind for our future.  He doesn’t see the passes we have undershot, the receptions we have bobbled, or the field goals that fell short. Each new play is an opportunity to move on from the last.  And, even if yards were lost on the last play, there’s another down to regain them and continue moving ahead. 

In our game of life, our Coach has already won the Super Bowl.  Therefore, as part of His team, we should no longer feel like we are only on defense.  Defending our faith.  Defending against the enemy.  How many times do we hear these terms?  Because our faith is in the absolute Truth, there is nothing that can question it.  Since our enemy has already been defeated, there is no need to keep swinging and trying to block him all of the time.  No!  We have been called to take heart and press on in offense, receiving the plays from our Coach to put up more points for our team.  So, the next time He asks of you, will you take the ball?  Remember, winners always do.

Chicken Sandwiches

It is chicken salad sandwich season and the other day I found myself a victim of advertising.  After the announcement that this was available for a limited time only, I found myself with a craving that could only be satisfied with a trip to the Food Court on my lunch hour.

As I made my way through the line with a conversation consisting only of, “6 inch, honey oat, no cheese,” I took notice of the people around me.  There was a woman ahead of me with her child, “Chicken and bacon with light lettuce” and an older man behind me, “Grilled chicken and cheese.”  One by one we made our ways down the line without words, keeping a comfortable distance, yet remaining close enough as if to silently say, “I don’t have all day here, so keep on moving.”  I then heard a voice coming from inside me.  “Buy the man’s sandwich.”  And that’s when the order and the routine of the line stopped.

As I was handed my chips and diet soda and was told my total, I advised the cashier as I gestured to the man, “Put his on there, too.”  She looked at me as if I had made a foreign request.  The man?  He had to pause a moment to process what was said and then let out an adamant, “NO! You can’t do that!  You don’t have to do that!” to which I agreed, “Yes, I know.  But I would like to.”  By now, this disruption had caught the attention of the sandwich maker who stepped over to ask what was wrong.  And at that question, sadness filled my soul.

What was wrong?  A kind gesture today is so uncommon that when it does happen, it now takes someone aback.  The workers responses indicated this hasn’t happened before and they did not know what to do.  The man’s reactions of “why me?” and “you can’t do that!” showed that not only are acts of kindness rarely offered anymore, but also that we have become a culture that no longer knows how to accept the thoughtfulness of a stranger.  Is it a fear that there are strings attached?  Is it a feeling of unworthiness?  Is it pride that no one needs to do anything for us because we can provide for ourselves?  Whatever the reason, it is a sad realization of a life we are falling into instead of raising others out above.

But, we can change this routine.  It doesn’t take much effort to recognize someone else, and it doesn’t have to be a monetary gift.  Offer a compliment.  Greet a stranger with a nametag by name, ask how they are, and listen intently.  Voice your appreciation.  Show concern.  Hope.  Joy.  The world is hungry for a moment with Him that comes without strings to those who are unworthy – and we can reach them one chicken sandwich at a time.